Oh Life… Something is just wrong here

Okay, I have to say something about this transgender issue that has been going on as of late. Stop pushing the issue!! I just read that there is a curriculum going to be implemented of transgenderism. Mandatory into the health class from 7th grade to 12th grade. So the students can decide on what gender they want to be. Doesn’t matter of personal or religious beliefs. So my faith is out the window because someone wants to push their views onto me and my family. HELL NO!! You are either male or female. Look down at the genitals you have and go with it. When you become a legal adult and can pay for the medical procedures then you can decide what gender you feel comfort with.

Saying that little children can decide what gender they feel comfortable with is for the birds. Little kids act what they see and who they’re around. So if a little boy is only around girls and his mom, of course he’s going to want to play with make-up and dress up but doesn’t mean he wants to be a girl. Just to fit in. Same goes with girls growing up with boys. They’re usually considered tomboys but doesn’t mean they want to be boys. Yes I know there is those that always want to be a different gender, good for them but stop insinuating or pushing what they think they need to feel when they’re just trying to figure who they are.

These are little children, let them be children! Childhood is only a blimp into a lifetime but being an adult lasts a hell of lot longer than being a child. Stop pushing them into becoming an adult before they have to become one. I know I grew up in the 90’s but I don’t remember having to be forced into grownup stuff, I wanted to do that all on my own. Now I wish I was still a kid. They’re allowed naps, snacks, and playtime. Who wouldn’t want that! I don’t have children but doesn’t mean I want the next generation have so much pressure and bullshit. Prepare them yes but don’t take away that we only have one life to live… Make the most of it and make memories that will last. Stop with the entitlement, let kids be kids, let us discipline them but not beat them, give teachers more power back into the classrooms, and stop letting them act like assholes.

Do you people not realize how smart kids are and know how to manipulate you adults. How do I know that? Because I was a kid and was able to pull stunts on my parents until they wised up and caught me… So sucks for kids I babysit, nanny, or my own because they won’t be able to get away with half the crap that I did. Even I wasn’t able to get away with much because I was stuck with having two older brothers. One being the mischievous and the other having special needs. I was SOL (shit out of luck) from the start! So you see, you are only fueling the power kids already have by giving them more power!!

I’m sorry if you wanted to have specific gender for your first born or in general but obviously the higher powers wanted to teach you a lesson( I believe in a Heavenly Father personally) People need to start learning to be happy with what is given not what you think you want. Be grateful you might have a job, a roof over your head, family, etc… When did we become a people that only cared about material possession? Those can get taken away from you in a instance.

I’m not judging you on your sexual preference. If you’re straight, gay, transgender, cool. I don’t believe in those things but I will not judge or deny you respect as long as its given back. Honestly, I don’t give a rats ass who you want to be with personally. Just don’t force it upon my beliefs and don’t break the law. That is how I honestly feel about all of the gender identification that’s been going on. Don’t think that I’m narrowed minded because I think like this. I have an uncle who is gay and has a cute partner, good friends that are gay and want to have sex changes and I still love them just the same. Please go and live life! Worry about war and evil instead of this. That is what I have to say on the matter and I’m going to stick with it. Until next time.

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Mood Killer

You know what really sucks about life? Dealing with it… When did it have to become so damn hard? When did start worrying what was politically correct or having someone get offended every five seconds? Do you know how tiring it is? Holy shit is it! There is a difference between politeness and etiquette and having to take everyone’s feelings! Um, no. Someone is always going to get hurt no matter what you do, so instead of trying not to offend someone, learn how tactful, pick and choose your battles, and learn how to take criticism. Grow the F@#$ up. I’ve learned that you can’t please all the people all the time, but you can please some of the people some of the time. I’m just tired of the stupid shit that is menial in hind sight and we need to start worrying about what really matters in life. Okay, there’s my rant about the world for now.

My real reason for this post is how I’ve been feeling for the last few months hence I haven’t been here to write. I’ve been having symptoms… No sleep, up and down appetite, can’t really focus on things, no motivation to do anything, not wanting to work-out, etc… This has been going on for a few months. I thought at first it was due to being sick which that sucked major ass. Then I thought it was due to allergy season. But then it was still going on after everything. So I finally went to the doctor and once again I’ve been told I have depression…

It’s that wonderful to be told that? Hell no!! I hate being told I have a disease that is so crippling to oneself. There are so many variations of depression but all are just a dangerous. Unfortunately I have the kind of depression that makes me a slave to not wanting to do anything… Sleep all the time, feeling crappy all the time, and just not feeling like you can function. So basically you feel and sometimes look useless.  Doesn’t having depression sound fun kids? I think not!! I personally don’t like feeling weak which to me what depression it. Weakness. Who in the hell likes feeling weak? I sure don’t! I want to conquer the world. (Maybe not the world)

I am blessed enough to have a good doctor who I had for years and understands me. So she gave me some medication to hopefully put the kick back into my step. It’s only been a few days and I can already feel like my old self which is why I can write this post. I also have a wonderful bishop who cares enough about me personally to take me aside and really ask whats going with me. Hate to admit this but I kind of broke down on him. It wasn’t hysterical or anything but just let it out there on the floor. Not going into details because that’s not what I’m about. My bishop is a wonderful man and really took whats going on with me into consideration. Help me not to try to take it all at once but one thing at a time. Step by step or line upon line.

So what is the whole point to all of this? To tell anyone out there that depression sucks! Its horrible and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. It damages and destroys everything in its path. But I also want anyone to know that you shouldn’t feel alone in this. Find someone, anyone you can trust and get them to have your back, go find a good doctor and talk to them about what is the best plan of action for you, and then go fix yourself. It’s going to take time. This isn’t something you can fix overnight. You have to want to get better because you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. So please know that depression does suck but there is a way of making it not so overwhelming.

Thanks for reading this and hope to write again soon!

School, Celebrities, & Other Stuff…

Well… This is going to defiantly be a test of my wills and patience. Just start school up again and the material was coming back to me as I was observing my new classmates. There is a range of people in this class. Male and female, older and young, ethinic, etc… It was going fine but there are some classmates that have to have an opinion about everything! It got a little annoying and wasting time. There’s nothing wrong with asking about situations but when you have to share your experiences with every topic… Don’t need to tell y’all how that comes across. To me it’s like compensating for something or have extremely low self esteem. Other than those classmates, they seem like a good class that really wants to do well and of course my teacher was adorable. I love her. I’m sure I’ll have more stories later on so keep y’all posted on school. 

          My health is finally on better side (ABOUT TIME, right?) Pretty excited about that because I actually like to work out and need to get back into training. Now I just have to work on my damn sleep cycle. (It’s a joke really) I did really well for my last PT test and I don’t want to lose that when I do my next test which I pray to god that I don’t have to do one this weekend. By the way, I have my first drill since being home this weekend. Should be interesting and can’t honestly wait to see the young pups waiting for basic and AIT. Tell y’all about that later.

          What is up with all the celebrities dying?! Holy crap man! First David Bowie, then Alan Rickman, Celine Dion’s husband and brother, Glen Frey (Guitarist for the Eagles), Brian Bedford, and Dan Haggerty.   Most of them are due to cancer… Guess it’s year of the cancer. Celebrities beware!! It is sad to see these great actors go because of illness but not to sound like an ass but I’d rather hear that than them committing sucide, drug overdose, or gruesome as it is murder. These celebs at least lived a full life and did wonderful work in theatre, film, or in music. I think the saddest for me who past is Alan Rickman and Brian Bedford. Rickman played one of my favorite villians in film history. The sheriff  of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Best portait of the historical figure in my opinion. He did other great roles such as Snape in the Harry Potter films and Hans Gruber in Die Hard but the sheriff is my favorite. Bedford did the voice of Robin Hood in the Disney 1979 version. He was more of the theatre but still a fabulous job at whatever role he was given. Humorously enough that two of my favorite actors played in the same movie but different times. One also the villian and the other the hero. 

          Shows what kind of a person I am. Been told that I am 90% devil and 10% angel. Just enough to stay out of hell and enough to barely get into heaven… Or at least to the pearly gates. I will tell you that I’m fiercely loyal, don’t like bullies or bull shitters, loves talking to people, tries to give people chances, and loves adventure. I mean, I joined the military and wanting to become an airborne ranger. If that doesn’t scream adventureous, I don’t  know what does. I just want to do good in the world and help people whenever possible and protect those who can’t do it for themselves. That’s enough about me for the moment.

          I did forget to mention that my mother made me a quilt and I love it! She loves to sew and I love her quilts. Here is her latest quilt.

 

Fitting for who I am and who are family is. I come from a military ancestry but I am the first femlae to join on both sides. So no pressure! (Kidding) My family is very proud no matter what I do in the military.

          Another thing I did for my mother is put up a picture of Goliath. My parents teach an early morning Sunday school class for the highschoolers in their ward. Their learning the old testiment and they’re learning about actually how large Goliath was. He was 9ft tall… Here’s the proof

 I’ll tell you this, it was a little scary putting him up. As you can see why…  My parents class loved it though so success!! I can say I will not be taking him down… My brother Joshua can take him down. It made my parents happy and that’s all I care about. I’m all about family.
  
          This all I have going on through my brain at the moment but that could change in a few hours…. Ya never know! Until next time.

Didn’t Go As Planned…

So this weekend did NOT go as planned… For some odd reason, I was still sick like horribly sick. Sinus infection with allergies is not a good combination. Along with extremely dry throat and headaches, oh yeah it was going to be a painful road back to healthy. Hawking loogies that could make your stomach churn from the color, being extremely tired, and feeling achy is not a fun time well spent. Unless y’all are into that kind of thing but I’m not so y’all can have fun with that.

          Another thing that didn’t go according to plan was getting to see someone I’ve grown close to these past few months and that didn’t happen because his unit f*#%ed up the paperwork for him to come back to the states as an escort. So he is currently waiting for another person to take over as an escort and for him to go back to his deployment… Needless to say I wasn’t happy and I know my other half was furious but joys of the military. Just a forewarning to those that have families and want to get into the military reguardless of what branch you enlist to, they will occassionaly screw you over… HARD! Joys of the government runned organization. It happens. Look forward to it because it will happen to you eventually. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the military because I grew up as an Air Force brat and I loved it because I learned about honor, discipline, loyalty, and a few other things but it’s also hard too. My dad had to move his family where the AF needed him and he was away from us long periods at a time so he did miss things but I’m so proud of what he did that I wouldn’t change anything for the world. SO! The moral of this rant is that not only the servicemen serve but so do their families. 

          I think the only thing that did go according to plan is I went to SMITE world championships. For those who aren’t into computer games, it is a game where you get to be gods of multiple mythologies throughout the ancient world. It’s actually pretty cool. You can pick different gods and even pick different outfits so lets pick Bastet. She could look like her Eyptian skin or you could make her look like cat burglar. Or lets pick Baucchus, the Roman god of wine. He could look like his Roman drunk self or you could put him in a Elivs costume from the seventies. (FYI it looks creepy as hell!) There are many other gods to pick from and skins you could choose from. There were teams from all over the world playing this game. Now I will say that they all look to be young teenagers that don’t have a life other than this game and it shows in how they can play and win money from tournaments. This world championship tournament, the winning team wins I believe a million dollars! Holy s#$%! That could pay off all my debt and enough to still play with. So you go nerds! Why was I there you ask. I was arm candy for a buddy of mine to help his image. I can occasionally make my guys look good and help them with their street credit to attract the other females. (I’m actually not kidding) Proof is in this picture below. Now please dont think this young man can’t get women because he’s socially incapable because this sweet guy has a good job, a house, and can take care of you.

 
While the tournament was going on they had this contest of best cosplay costumes and I didn’t get pictures of all the cool costumes, I got two from some damn AMAZING costumes. Check out below 

   
The winner would win $20,000 dollars! Holy s@#$% again! See what being a geek can rack in the dough? So for all you creative, geeky freaks out there that don’t think being a geek/nerd doesn’t pay off? Oh you are so wrong. See above for the proof or check out SMITE for tournaments and put together your own team. It is fun to play and watch.

          Now that I’ve done my advertising(wink, wink) I’ll just finish up with how sucky it is at the moment to be because I’m still sick and still looking for a day job… It’s oh so fun trying to look for something in your field. The good news is that I get to start school this Thursday so at least while I’m looking for a job that I can educate myself in a future hopeful job. I’m really excited to go back to school again. I actually like the medical field and they are alway in need of people and I’m planning to be one of those people! I just want to get out of debt and hopefully when I start a family that I can help save money and eventually become a stay at home mom so  I can raise the kids and my husband can be the guy who brings home the bacon. Old fashion I know but I  don’t care. I think we need to bring back some of the old fashion standards of society. Not the women can’t be out of the kitchen or that all ethinics aren’t equals but the family and courting standards or even how to be social standard. I think we’ve become a society where it’s okay to be a slob and not have to present ourselves to the best of our ablilities. When is it okay to be in public in our PJ’s or to go to a job interview drunk? If you think I’m kidding, I’m not and I’ve seen both on several occasions and people wonder why the United States gets ridicule…  Now that is a topic I could go on for days about but I won’t because I’m sure y’all would get annoyed and tell me to go f@#$ off. 

          Hopefully my next post will be telling y’all of my first night at class. Oh I forgot to tell you, my classes are at night which is one of the reasons why it’s so damn hard to find a job. Until next time for my mind to blow up with something that needs to be said.

Oh Fun

Nothing to really report other than I’ve been sick… It’s so much fun, I highly reccomend it. I hope y’all got that as my sarcasm because being sick sucks major ass! I’ve been sick since New Year’s Eve with at first started as a stomach bug, then turned into a head cold… The head cold was way worse because it took me longer to get better. I was getting better which I was getting excited because I want to start training again but then I watched an adorable little baby boy who is sick and he got me sick again with a sinus infection. Woke up this morning with a stuffy nose and and a little bit of a sore throat. Luckily enough I have some meds to hopefully will get me well by tomorrow.

          What I am hoping for this weekend is to visit a person I care about. He’s getting a chance to get back into the states for a few days for work. Since we haven’t seen each other in seven years… We’re pretty excited to see each other again. One of the things I adore about him is that since I’ve been sick, he’s been nothing but caring and wondering what he can do to help me get better even him being overseas. That’s all the internet gets to know about for the time being. Told you before that I wasn’t going to share extremely personal about myself and my life.

          A good note, I got to reconnect with an old friend. He’s become a firefighter and got married. He also have a goober of a dog. His life seems to be going really good and I’m happy for him. It’s been nice talking to him like the old days. Ladies, I’ve got to say he’s one of the good guys that still exist in the world and his wife is one lucky woman! I love him like a dear friend. He’s been there for me through some shit in my life. I hope I’ve been there for him but life happens and we lost contact with each other. It’s been nice. I’ve missed my friend.

          So… My week so far has been all over. Looking for a job is still on the plate and looking for a place to live so that the future will hold more opportunities and hopefully a dog. One thing I’ve been wanting for a few years is is a German Shephard. Fluffier the better and I want to have him trained as a badass guard dog. But I also want a ton of dogs, horses, cats, pretty much a small farm so when I get the money to get a house, it’s going to have a ton of land. 

     That’s all I have for the moment… Hope it wasn’t too dull but it’s something I had to write out. Stay healthy people and if you get sick, don’t go to the doctor because it’s your body’s way of saying “SLOW THE F*#$ DOWN” Until next time!